Day 73

now i can censor my own face without photoshop or wtv. anyways that's a gel warmer.

i am backs

tmrw ah tmrw.monday.schooling begins again. funnily i am not dreading it as much. probably cz i had a really long trip and sorta look forward for schools. but i dun think i will have that kinda thought for long thoh. lol. as usual, i start off a new sem with high ambitions and positive thinking lol. before they gradually deteriorate into pessimism. i want to be real good this sem.

i want to study consistently. i dun want to get crappy results. i want to pay attention in class and not fall asleep. i want to finish off my assignment knowing how to do them. i want to be fit and go to gym. i want to read my lectures before and after my lectures. so i can actually understand what they're talking about. i want to revise my lectures so that what i've learnt will be kept into longer term memory. can i get an A please?

LOL yea i am that ambitious.

ranting

ranting....ranting....ranting....
i hate it when i am so unproductive and to top it off i think i am. which leads to more unproductiveness. why am i like that? such a lazy assssss......
if i could find any teeny excuse not to do what i'm suppose to do. i'd do it. it's like wired in me. so crappy!!!!!
and what i do best afterwards is regret!
seriously i have no idea how many times i've gone through this cycle. but it just comes around again and again and again and again. without FAIL! congratulations JIE JING TAN!!!!!!!

ok enough ranting. back to productive stuffs.

is ignorance bliss???

you know these days i am so so lazy to read?not just academic reading like textbooks but i am lazy even to read storybooks which i used to love to read.yes,my laziness is at such a high level that i refuse to read interesting storybooks,any err fashion or gossipy/celebrity article even from magazines which don't requires much understanding, or news which i don't really read anyways.i am thinking what had struck me until i am at this state.pushing away all sorts of reading.well,except blogs. "???" why is that? this is really bad,really. i am lost with the rest of the world since i don't read news. not news in my own country,not news in the country i am currently at now. while i am staying now at the farm, they usually talk about serious topics. at least i do consider them to be. about countries economics, population, religions, cultures,news(current or not)... and since i am from a different country and culture altogether, it is only natural they ask me about these. i realise how little i know, how ignorant and how little i care about all these stuffs when most of the time i would just turn and look at my friend and expect them to answer those questions for me. i am clueless. reading is definitely one great way to widen your knowledge in all aspects.

i have so many times ignored the magazines - reader's digest, NG. flipped them and closed and just put them back. i enjoy looking at pictures and just allow my brain to laze and not read. finally, today i picked up a national geographic magazine and forced myself to read it out of boredom during my break after a day of so-so hardwork. needless to say, it was a burst of refreshing information for my mind. i would usually go for animal related articles in the NG mag just because it is my interest and my sort of thing. besides reading about the king penguin, i also came across a very very interesting article on the current state of Somalia - not stable and not having a government ruling it( i think). violence is occurring everywhere while it's neighbour which broke off, Somaliland is rather peaceful. all these are happening right now and i am so ignorant to even to learn about it. perhaps at times i just choose not to know thinking i can escape from the fact that these are happening. avoiding and running away. it is pointless though because however you try to run away, the stuffs stills happens anyhow.

i should start reading more now. it is like my new resolution. i had once dreamed of becoming a journalist. perhaps now that i cannot pursue this dream of mine, i could at least read and learn more from others.

hmm.

i feel like blogging at this moment.out of a sudden.i am so sleepy really.and its only 12...
so lazy.haven been doing my studying.tried to pay attention in class..not much success.half understand half no.prob less not understood.

list:

• 2 exams next week
• quiz this week
• counselling thu
• library lect thu
• assignment due 24 aug
  
• another assignment gotta be starting
• gotta be thinking bout my practical work
• thinking (improving i think)
• thinking (hmm..ignoring..)
• thinking (taking time..pending)
  

its not really that much of stuffs to do compared to a lot of other ppl really.i am just very lazy.everything seems so delayed.i feel so err.lost?i don't know what i'm feeling.although thgs seem to be getting err..settling down.mist is clearing.have to start focusing.paying attention to my life.leave off some stuffs.kill off funny weird peculiar abnormal strange feeling.feel like sleeping and just forget bout everything else tht is happening.going to happen.had happened.but i'd still wake up tmrw to em anyways.

babbling~