ahh aren't you just excited that cny is just around the corner.i'm so looking forward to it.friends gathering, family's coming back,the tonnes of food,and house-hopping and receiving ang pow.its definitely one of the best times of the year. the fact that how everyone takes the trouble to go back to their hometown to be with their families and friends getting back for reunion just pumps up yr adrenaline level. ahh..alas...as much as i'm excited for chinese new year,i'm half-heartedly doubting am i really that happy that cny is so soon. the sooner i'm celebrating it, the sooner i'll leave. its really ironic. when you don't get something, the more you want it. now you get it, you just have second thoughts. i realise its not fair for some who didn't even get the opprtunity to get that something. and i'm guilty that i felt that way but i just can't help it. i wonder if it will be as good as i imagined it to be, as great as i wish it would be or as perfect as how people say it would be. well, the answer is a definite no, anyone can answer that. life ain't that simple, never will it be. bumps just never disappears. they do stop awhile now and then, but continues but never do they end. i wonder if i will adapt, i wonder if i can handle being away so far and so long, i wonder if i can make friends, i wonder if i can cope with the studies...i wonder a lot, i admit. just like what my fairygodsis said. have i admitted to that before.well, i am now. i am a worry-freak. i just hope for the best and like the song goes....dreams stay big,and worries stay small....................